There’s a chance they will open me up, look at how the tumor is wrapped around the nerves, decide there’s nothing they can do surgically, and close me back up.
There’s a chance because they’ve done this so many times before, and because I’ve had radiation in that spot, that things might end badly (everything from spinal fluid leaks and infection to not being able to walk.)
He assured me that I wouldn’t die on the table and that having the surgery wouldn’t cause me to be in tremendous pain from here on out and that’s good enough for me. I’m pretty easy going and if need to be easy-going in a wheelchair or after a much longer stay in the hospital, then that’s what I’ll do.
In the meantime, I’m ignoring the fact that I have a 4:30am wake-up call and am instead enjoying this beautiful view from the balcony!